I'm not sure what led me to start this blog. And I'm not exactly certain where I will end up taking it. But for now, it is a place for me to process and document my life. When I learn, when I grow, when I stumble, when I fall, when I succeed, when I fail, when I ache and when I celebrate - all of it goes here. So if you've chosen to stop by and if you plan on visiting again, welcome to the unhindered and unedited part of my mind. The primary purpose of this blog is for me to process all of these things - but if someone else happens to learn something from any of these posts, well, I'm okay with that.
The goal is for everything on this page to be real and raw. I've gotten to a point in my life where I've exhausted myself trying to portray a better version of me. All my life I've been pretty good at it actually, but lately it seems as though I can't even make the appearance that I have it all together or that I've figured out my life. I'm okay with that. Because that's not the real me. The real me is broken and messy. So here's to being vulnerable and transparent. Because I don't think any of us can afford not to be. Certainly not me. We all have a longing to be known and to be understood, and I think the first step to that is vulnerabiltity. Vulnerability with myself, vulnerability with others - telling people how I am actually doing instead of just saying "good how are you?" Because the truth is, sometimes I am good, but sometimes I'm not - and both are acceptable. But the biggest lie I've ever let myself believe is that I had to be perfect and that I could be perfect. It wasn't until I understood the weight of the Gospel of Jesus that this lie was exposed and put to death. And it wasn't until that lie was put to death that I fully realized my need for a savior - and that savior couldn't be myself. Realizing that was the best thing that ever happened to me. And it all started by God stirring in my heart to be honest with myself and with others. By his grace and conviction, there were things in my heart that were exposed to the light and from that point on I have really valued the importance of being transparent.
So I hope to continue that same vulnerability here. It's not going to all be crappy stuff though, because God is good and His goodness has been so evident in my life. I am excited to share evidences of His faithfulness and mercy and power and love, too. Even though life is hard sometimes, God is good. And that truth does not hinge upon my feelings, whether or not I see His goodness, or even whether or not I choose to believe that it exists. Praise Him for that.